So if anyone is still reading this…thank you.
I apologize to my fan base of 7. I had a tumultuous August which spiraled into several months of being lost and depressed. And those feelings did not correspond to going to the gym. Instead they matched up with drinking a substantial amount often, eating like a total asshole, and being confused as to why I look ridiculous in every item of clothing I own. During that time, I was unemployed, uncoupled, and nearly homeless and instead of channeling my energy into positive activities – I fucked up. That’s the easiest and best way to say it. And I didn’t fuck up one time, I fucked up repeatedly. Every single fuck up came with a load of excuses. As far as fitness goes, I’m fortunate that I didn’t gain back all the weight I’ve lost plus a sixth grader. It’s serious the muscle vs fat thing. By some miracle I weigh exactly the same, but I have morphed into a the Michelin man’s unsexy cousin. Not a good situation. So this is me shittily apologizing to my community here as well as myself.
Now that we’ve all forgiven me, let’s move on.
I am unapologetically back in the game. Full tilt fitness. No more soda. I’m doing a booze detox. And finally, I’m breaking up with fast food again. It’s not me Wendy’s, it’s you. You see, I love having a hot ass more than I could ever love Dave’s Juicy Cheeseburgers (which if you know me, is saying something-possibly I’m a narcissist). This is a commitment to new beginnings, good habits, and hilarious blog posts about ridiculous workouts and/or eating healthy and/or fitness fashion. I promise to share my triumphs, my failures, and my kick ass playlists.
Today I had to travel to Cleveland for work. After being on planes all day, and using much self control to not murder others around me-I did NOT want to go run on a treadmill. You already know that I despise treadmills. There is nothing more boring and less gratifying than looking into a mirror while running on a treadmill after a 3 month fitness hiatus. But I committed to this running accountability group (cause that’s a thing) on Facebook that requires me to run daily until Christmas Eve. And the fearless leader is mean so I felt obligated. That’s the key to fitness success, find someone fucking mean. I busted out (which is pretty generous verbiage) 2.03 miles in 31 minutes. So really, it was more of a walk/jog situation, but internet memes assure me I can call this a run. Then I did tricep dips (Janelle are you reading this), bicep curls, push-ups and squats in a circuit. As far as hotel gym workouts go, I feel fanfuckingtastic
To prove it, here’s what I look like afterwards