I’m having a day where I feel fat.
Let me backtrack. First and foremost, I don’t like the word fat. I don’t like when my friends use it to describe themselves. I don’t like when people use it to describe other people. And I generally try to avoid it when describing myself. It’s just one of those days, where I realized not only how far my knee injury set me back in terms of baseline fitness, but just the fact that I don’t feel good. And that sucks.
I am not looking for a comment section full of how great I am (I already know), nor do I need to be reminded that an ACL tear is a serious injury and recovery and training aren’t the same. I understand that. It’s just a setback-that fucking blows-and must be pushed through. It’s just hard.
Here’s what people who have always been active/fit/healthy/whatever word you want to put here do not understand. Being out of shape when you’re chubby and getting back in it is brutal. Because people are fucking mean. The hag at Lululemon. The person at the gym staring at you while you go to yoga. The person at the Scottsdale juice bar. Like, yeah, I get it. I have work to do. Trust me, no one person is more acutely aware of this than I.
I’m not the biggest person on the face of the planet, and I am most certainly not the smallest. But I dislike feeling like this. And I dislike feeling sad. So I thought I’d be completely for real, because that’s the point of this blog that no one reads anyways right?
Now, where’s my fucking book deal? I’m sure money would cheer me up.