You Better Work Bitch

So I’ve been with the nutritionist for like a month now, and despite being imperfect and an alcoholic, my eating has gone through a dramatic change. So dramatic in fact that I ate a Thin Mint cookie – aka Gods gift to humans – and I spit it out because it was gross tasting to me. What in the actual fuck. It turns out that if you stop eating shit all the time, it starts to taste gross. If only I could kick Cabernet and tequila. But that’s neither here nor there. 

Also, I hired a personal trainer. We meet two times a week, Monday and Friday, at 5:45 am and the remaining days I am responsible for cardio and I choose to add yoga. Tonight, I ran on a treadmill (which y’all know I fucking hate) and it was the first time my knee hasn’t hurt like hell since my ACL Allograft last year.  Also, my pace is just under a twelve minute mile. Meaning, I’m not longer at sloth level.  Yay me. 

So the thing that fucking sucks is the goddamn scale hasn’t moved. This could possibly be from being a lazy asshole and eating everything in Hawaii for 8 days,  or from the accidental baked potato yesterday #sorrynotsorry. But in good news, I put on spanx Sunday, and they are no longer sucking in my fat. I need a smaller size. So that’s a victory. 

Until next time lovers. 





  1. I’m still at sloth level but I’m not giving up just yet. Cheetah is what we’re aiming for! I totally get what you mean about the food thing though. I started eating a lot of veggies and couldn’t believe I was actually enjoying them. The same happened with salads, oh and when I started preferring green tea over coca cola! But hey, you don’t hear me complaining! Loving your blog by the way.

    Would you be interested in sharing your thoughts and posts with our community of health, fitness and nutrition enthusiasts over at “The Active You”? We’d love to hear what you have to say. You can check us out over at!


  2. I noticed something similar when my mom brought home donuts. I actually gagged at the smell of them.
    Keep it up! And there’s nothing wrong with the accidental baked potato!


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