#health · Fitness · Humor · Lifestyle · Women

Fuck you thyroid 

I have been missing in action. It’s mostly because I hired a trainer and a nutritionist and saw very minimal results as far as the scale goes. 

While photos indicated physical changes, the scale gave me a heart fuck you every time I stepped on it.  I had given up bread, sweets, fried foods, and I was going hard at the gym. I was clearing 10,000 steps every day. And nothing was budging. 

I cried to my nutritionist. I cried to my trainer. I cried to my friends. I cried at the literal most inappropriate times and places.  I went to my therapist and said “I think I’m depressed.”  When she asked why I listed my symptoms 

  • Crying like a bitch ass bitch 24/7
  • Insomnia
  • Mood swings like woah 
  • Crying like a bitch ass bitch 

I listed crying twice because I’m just not a crying person. I’ve never been overly emotional since I had a soulectomy around the time I started paying my student loans. She then said something groundbreaking to me

Have you had your thyroid checked. 

Well, no I had not. It turns out insomnia, being overweight/weight gain, and being a fucking crysack are all thyroid issue symptoms. And groundbreakingly enough

I have hypothyroidism. And PCOS.  Which means 2 things. 

1. I’m no bitch. 2. Medicine can regulate these issues. 

Turns out due to PCOS, my body digests carbs/sugars like a diabetic. And my low thyroid helps no one, least of all my metabolism. I was put on a medication for my thyroid and metformin for PCOS and a month later I’m finally 10lbs lighter. 

For those of you dickbags who want to say thyroid is an excuse you can go talk to my nutritionist, and she’ll tell you I was legit working hard and eating right for very little gain. It’s not impossible, but it’s a lot fuckin easier when your body is on your team. 

Trust me, I know when you want to lose a total of 65lbs, who cares about 10?  But I am now only 55lbs from my goal and it feels so goddamn good. I finally feel like I’m not a fraud when I come to this blog. 

Which means, I’m legitimately going to keep up with this shit once and for all. I even bought the domain name so I’m pretty fucking official. 
Can’t wait until the day when we all celebrate my goal weight. Designer handbags for everyone! (Jk I’m not rich)

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3 thoughts on “Fuck you thyroid 

  1. I’m so happy to see that you didn’t give up and got to the bottom of the issue! I’m sure it’s bittersweet – no one wants to find out her body isn’t functioning like it “should,” but thank goodness that modern medicine has a way around it. And 10 lbs is to be celebrated no matter what because each one dropped brings you closer to sweet victory!! Your honesty and perseverance is so inspiring. I’ll keep cheering you on the whole way!!! Xoxo

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